Somewhere
Somewhere ...........There is a unicorn waiting to KICK YOUR ASS!
Why? You may ask. The reasons are thrice (that's right thrice !!!)
1- Unicorns are mythical creatures of ultimate purity (or so nonsense). How the hell do I know that? I watched Clash of the Titans, but that's a joke because that is a Pegasus not a unicorn. But according to all mythological sources unicorn=good. This means that they would not conspire to kick anyones ass, unless you were evil. So face it your evil.
2- You are in a cubicle not 3 cubicles away listening to music that I can only describe at the soundtrack to the animated hobbit movie, which don't get me wrong is great for a animated movie containing "hobbits" (and not giraffes..A common mistake), but for an office were people "work" it sucks. I want to get my lute and beat him senseless, maybe I'll shove some other medieval musical instrument in his arse!! And I'll get the unicorn to help they are down....dog (that's right I said it!!!)
3-Can you kick a unicorn's ass? NO, that's right. They are fucking tough, even for creatures that don't exist. That's why they aren't allowed in ultimate fighting, kickboxing, karate, boxing, tough man competitions, because they would dominate. They aren't even allowed to run for governor, because they would win. Now, Imagine the damage to the psyche of anyone beat by a unicorn.....
"man I suck, I was just beaten by a unicorn. Now what, guess I'll go work at Burger King or Waffle Hut, or make gay porn"
We can't have it, the UN has decreed that no unicorns shall be allowed to compete in any events of a competitive nature.
Strange but try Hippies!
Now if I could only get the birds not to poop on my house, would putting a quad 50 cal in my front yard be overkill?
Why? You may ask. The reasons are thrice (that's right thrice !!!)
1- Unicorns are mythical creatures of ultimate purity (or so nonsense). How the hell do I know that? I watched Clash of the Titans, but that's a joke because that is a Pegasus not a unicorn. But according to all mythological sources unicorn=good. This means that they would not conspire to kick anyones ass, unless you were evil. So face it your evil.
2- You are in a cubicle not 3 cubicles away listening to music that I can only describe at the soundtrack to the animated hobbit movie, which don't get me wrong is great for a animated movie containing "hobbits" (and not giraffes..A common mistake), but for an office were people "work" it sucks. I want to get my lute and beat him senseless, maybe I'll shove some other medieval musical instrument in his arse!! And I'll get the unicorn to help they are down....dog (that's right I said it!!!)
3-Can you kick a unicorn's ass? NO, that's right. They are fucking tough, even for creatures that don't exist. That's why they aren't allowed in ultimate fighting, kickboxing, karate, boxing, tough man competitions, because they would dominate. They aren't even allowed to run for governor, because they would win. Now, Imagine the damage to the psyche of anyone beat by a unicorn.....
"man I suck, I was just beaten by a unicorn. Now what, guess I'll go work at Burger King or Waffle Hut, or make gay porn"
We can't have it, the UN has decreed that no unicorns shall be allowed to compete in any events of a competitive nature.
Strange but try Hippies!
Now if I could only get the birds not to poop on my house, would putting a quad 50 cal in my front yard be overkill?
posted by deputydog at 3:41 PM
2 Comments:
Perhaps one of those tough unicorns could scare the birds away from your house for you?!?
Somewhere
there is a man
Discussing
Coasters!
The links to your previous posts... was this sentence intentional?
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