Screw you in the goat ass

One of my all time favorite things to say, besides
"Screw you in the goat ass"
are ...
eat me
pull your head out of your ass
purple monkey dishwasher
monkeys
and I should care...

It like Christmas in March, except it is April and I want to drop a box of hammers on scrots, (short for scrotum) or some of my co-workers. Either would be fine. Maybe I could drop individual hammers to make the experience last longer.
Another day another day in the machine, with people letting you know how lucky that you are useful, so they can screw you both ways