The flop
The early morning call on Thursday. It's the S. want to know if I will work his shifts.
Sure, I'll work 6am-6pm. (instead of 6pm-6am)
"I got poison oak real bad"
The week before we assisted another agency on a crash and were down an embankment in a big patch of it looking at a wreck. Something I didn't notice until I had gone through at least 3 bushes, to which the S. say, "this is poison oak. I am immune to it." Great so I'm going to get it and even make another trip down to the wreck to take pictures for the Deputy while he does interviews, heck I went down there once, i like to help and i pretty sure i already have poison oak, so whey expose other. (so that is the back story)
S. continues on the phone " you know why I got poison oak?"
-yeah, you said you never get it? you challenged it's manhood-
laughter is the only response. "thanks, what are you doing?"
-i was sleeping i like to keep the same schedule on my off days, but I have court today, so I was getting up anyways.-
"sorry about waking you up i thought i was doing you favor letting you know early."
-no problem-
I have court, which is only muni/local/traffic court. 50 or so people and 80% of those are tickets I wrote, but I am there for only 1 ticket. A man drove his car to market parked the car out front. I drove by ran the plate, went into the store, he was the only one in the store. I ask if he is the registered owner? is that his car?did he drive? did you know you are suspended? come outside we will talk. 7 months later he wants the trial and says that he wife was driving and she was in the bathroom. He saying 1) never said he was driving 2)he didn't want to get his wife in trouble, because she may have been suspended or had warrant. The judge is fair and lets him talk, but the guy is really trying to avoid his 3rd suspension. he loses i go home.
I will end up flipping the schedule with one days notice. I managed to get 2.5 hrs of sleep the night before, the body wants to be awake at 4 am ( an I have the song "it's a great day to kick somebodies ass" stuck in my head). I catch about 9 cases each shift, which is double the average for day shift (unless I initiate).
Yesterday was my friday and was capped by the smile that you need to keep you going the last few hours.
Our office lady is out for 4 more weeks, which means reports/citations/paperwork and anything else support related is really out of whack. I have to got the fire station to check phone message and write them down and return them if possible. certain officers don't do it.
Message #1- the concert last night was loud - (great whatever)
Message #2- the cougar is in our yard, again. (Call back Yes mam I have to wait until the chief approves the action. If you see it call the police we will attempt to shoot it. If it threatens your family shoot it and call us so the game dept can get the body.) thank you for returning my call
Message #3- where can I park all day. (you can park in the c and d lots all day)
Message #4-someone vandalised my property after the concert (left voicemail, please call)
Message #5 (the smile)= "This is Michael Chots (can't really understand it) you may remember me, I uh...used the name Tim Mcgraw, I was a country singer. I was at the concert last night and met a lady friend. We friendly and had a good time. I went to her house and left my truck there. I was in a place were she could drive me to the airport. I want to come get it but she won't let me. I am ready to pursue charges. How do I do it and....Call me back at 123-4567. And she violated me."
So evidently Tim McGraw was at a hip-hop concert last night met a lady, went to her house, she drove him to the airport and has stolen his car. Oh yeah P.S. she violated him.
I call the number, Kim answers the phone.
-Is Michael Chots, no sure of last name, aka Tim McGraw there? This is Officer.
"Michael is here at the Sullivan Care facility, what did he do?"
-can you describe the type of facility it is? is it like the brain injury unit at Front Street?-
"Well that is our sister facility, but yes."
-Okay that explains the phone message. Michael, aka Tim Mcgraw called and stated...-
"wait let me get a pen and my supervisor, I got to write this all down for the report"
The supervisor gets on the line. I tell her about the message.
"Well Michael has Mental Health Issue. He was here all night and doesn't own a truck." she is trying not laugh as she asks about the message.
-can you make sure he doesn't call unless there is an emergency or a crime-
"yeah but he does this from time to time"
-I know i used to work at one of the facilities, so I won't make a big deal of this, good day-
So next officer comes in and I start telling him about the phone messages. So Tim Mcgraw was in town last night someone stole his truck and violated him
"what?"
Tim Mcgraw aka Michael Chots called to report the stolen truck and violation of his person
"oh yeah, I know him. he's nut" He starts laughing
I couldn't stop smiling because it's funny and I couldn't get "PS. I was violated" out of my head.
Sure, I'll work 6am-6pm. (instead of 6pm-6am)
"I got poison oak real bad"
The week before we assisted another agency on a crash and were down an embankment in a big patch of it looking at a wreck. Something I didn't notice until I had gone through at least 3 bushes, to which the S. say, "this is poison oak. I am immune to it." Great so I'm going to get it and even make another trip down to the wreck to take pictures for the Deputy while he does interviews, heck I went down there once, i like to help and i pretty sure i already have poison oak, so whey expose other. (so that is the back story)
S. continues on the phone " you know why I got poison oak?"
-yeah, you said you never get it? you challenged it's manhood-
laughter is the only response. "thanks, what are you doing?"
-i was sleeping i like to keep the same schedule on my off days, but I have court today, so I was getting up anyways.-
"sorry about waking you up i thought i was doing you favor letting you know early."
-no problem-
I have court, which is only muni/local/traffic court. 50 or so people and 80% of those are tickets I wrote, but I am there for only 1 ticket. A man drove his car to market parked the car out front. I drove by ran the plate, went into the store, he was the only one in the store. I ask if he is the registered owner? is that his car?did he drive? did you know you are suspended? come outside we will talk. 7 months later he wants the trial and says that he wife was driving and she was in the bathroom. He saying 1) never said he was driving 2)he didn't want to get his wife in trouble, because she may have been suspended or had warrant. The judge is fair and lets him talk, but the guy is really trying to avoid his 3rd suspension. he loses i go home.
I will end up flipping the schedule with one days notice. I managed to get 2.5 hrs of sleep the night before, the body wants to be awake at 4 am ( an I have the song "it's a great day to kick somebodies ass" stuck in my head). I catch about 9 cases each shift, which is double the average for day shift (unless I initiate).
Yesterday was my friday and was capped by the smile that you need to keep you going the last few hours.
Our office lady is out for 4 more weeks, which means reports/citations/paperwork and anything else support related is really out of whack. I have to got the fire station to check phone message and write them down and return them if possible. certain officers don't do it.
Message #1- the concert last night was loud - (great whatever)
Message #2- the cougar is in our yard, again. (Call back Yes mam I have to wait until the chief approves the action. If you see it call the police we will attempt to shoot it. If it threatens your family shoot it and call us so the game dept can get the body.) thank you for returning my call
Message #3- where can I park all day. (you can park in the c and d lots all day)
Message #4-someone vandalised my property after the concert (left voicemail, please call)
Message #5 (the smile)= "This is Michael Chots (can't really understand it) you may remember me, I uh...used the name Tim Mcgraw, I was a country singer. I was at the concert last night and met a lady friend. We friendly and had a good time. I went to her house and left my truck there. I was in a place were she could drive me to the airport. I want to come get it but she won't let me. I am ready to pursue charges. How do I do it and....Call me back at 123-4567. And she violated me."
So evidently Tim McGraw was at a hip-hop concert last night met a lady, went to her house, she drove him to the airport and has stolen his car. Oh yeah P.S. she violated him.
I call the number, Kim answers the phone.
-Is Michael Chots, no sure of last name, aka Tim McGraw there? This is Officer.
"Michael is here at the Sullivan Care facility, what did he do?"
-can you describe the type of facility it is? is it like the brain injury unit at Front Street?-
"Well that is our sister facility, but yes."
-Okay that explains the phone message. Michael, aka Tim Mcgraw called and stated...-
"wait let me get a pen and my supervisor, I got to write this all down for the report"
The supervisor gets on the line. I tell her about the message.
"Well Michael has Mental Health Issue. He was here all night and doesn't own a truck." she is trying not laugh as she asks about the message.
-can you make sure he doesn't call unless there is an emergency or a crime-
"yeah but he does this from time to time"
-I know i used to work at one of the facilities, so I won't make a big deal of this, good day-
So next officer comes in and I start telling him about the phone messages. So Tim Mcgraw was in town last night someone stole his truck and violated him
"what?"
Tim Mcgraw aka Michael Chots called to report the stolen truck and violation of his person
"oh yeah, I know him. he's nut" He starts laughing
I couldn't stop smiling because it's funny and I couldn't get "PS. I was violated" out of my head.
posted by deputydog at 9:43 AM
1 Comments:
I take it you managed to avoid poison oak even though you walked through it twice? Nasty stuff, the steroids people have to take to get rid of it is no picnic.
"PS, I was violated" - sounds like the title of a spoof.
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