The week according to Foz

So evidently weekends off is a myth (see mrs). after not having weekends off for at least a year. i finally got the schedule. BUT no, one guy keeps taking last minute time off and expecting everyone else to cover. I don't think it would bug me as much if the co-worker put forth effort at work or I wasn't obnoxiously busy with throwing drunks out of town. The co-worker maybe under the impression he can take off 4 weekends in a row. WRONG.

I am finally certified, paper award and everything.

The highlights of the week involve a traffic stop with a rotting deer carcass not 20 feet upwind.
"I am sorry I pulled over by the deer carcass", said the driver. he was suspended and instead of towing I let a licensed driver take the car, so I wouldn't have to smell the deer while waiting for the tow. The best was the flies landing on me and people in the car. where do you think the flies came from? yummy.

Or the classical musicians in town. There about 40 and they all went to the bars after practice. i sit at the main intersection blacked out waiting for victims to drive by. i hear 3 guys walking up the street around the corner. Two men walk off the sidewalk about 5 feet in front of the car and start reading themselves to pee. The 3rd man is talking loudly about how there is no one around and they could get away with it if there wasn't a cop 5 ft away. I don't know if he saw me or was giving them crap or got lucky. The two guys heads whip towards me. I was about to turn on the spot light, the sirens and the lights, but I can't. I end up laughing loudly (it's funny). they all quickly start walking towards me. I inform them of the $500 fine and point out the public restroom. They smile sheepishly and thank me. I remind them my city doesn't like to be peed on.

New favorite shows since Battlestar G. has decided to hide from me.
Generation Kill on HBO is frackin hilarious.
Also getting into Deadwood.

WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

The mrs. brought home another stack of cds from the library to see if there ware any good ones. Hey, look the Cherry Poppin' Daddies, great I loved seeing them in high school for $5 and maybe Skain' Pickle or some other garage band. I haven't been terribly impressed with them since the "big band sound" became popular in the late 90's. it only seemed to cheese up there act. But their early albums are still great if you don't make eye contact with the band now.

But the worst is the looking through the album cover and looking at the pictures. all are pretty low tech of the band drinking PBR in a classic car, except the one on the top. NO WORDS. I show it to the mrs. She askes what the hell. top caption wins a shiny nickel.

The Chase

This tale starts with the look. The "oh shit" look, as the Rdog says "pretext stop". The car is a POS2000. The 20-30 ish driver eyeballs me as he passes me in a mufflerless 89 chevy mini van. PC has been established. The driver is shirtless and there is a pitbull hanging out the missing driver side window (not the one next to the driver, the one behind, a long bay type window gone..who needs AC)

I follow the car through town. I have picked a spot were I will being pulling him over. I run the plate comes back to a female born in 46, not the driver. I asked for a ticket scan for 20-30 male. Improper signal, more PC. we approach the spot I want him to stop.

Lights activated and wait. The driver's head moves registering in the rear view mirror and the slight turn back. Wait for about 100 feet, he isn't pulling over. Sirens and he keeps going.

"failure to yield and direction of travel" is broadcast and request for the next city to cut him off at the pass. broadcast speed 60-80+ mph. I watch as he nearly strikes another car fish tailing as he stomps the break to avoid collision. Then he guns it. I slow down, I don't want to be the fire in his flaming death. I stay back, broadcasting speed near misses, passing on the left.

OH SHIT there is construction ahead. Two lanes into one with flaggers at each end plus the intersection. He is through it I don't see a crash I don't hear a bang. I follow.

Now he comes to the traffic light at the biggie st intersection that side of town. The light is red. Again a brace for what I think is coming the bang, the pop. Two cars stomp there breaks and avoid him. He continues up the center of the road still screaming.

I see the finale' that I have been predicting, but am happy about. the nozzle locks the brakes or the van dies, but he skids into a street sign.

Female passenger books east. Male driver gets out run south. I broadcast and drive up his trail. I am out of the car and running through a yard, kicking a fence, taser out "Police, come out the god damn house" . I think he has ducked into a house. the owner states he cut out the back across the street and hopped a fence.

The cavalry has arrived county and the local fuzz. They have a K9 and set up perimeter. I am notified the vehicle's driver is most likely a nozzle named "LUCKY". LUCKY fits the description of the driver. LUCKY is suspended and has a felony warrant.

I check the car and let K9 do his thing. The pitbull in still in the car and is a nice puppy. I find a meth and mj pipe in the car. Dog goes to the pound the vehicle is removed. K9 guy states LUCKY stole a bike from a kid and took off.

I have lost my nozzle. I go a find photo's of LUCKY to see if it is the winning face. It is. I attempt to contact victim's of the near misses, but none stuck around to talk. The construction workers on the other hand are very interested in telling me how close the nozzle came. The supervisor say he heard the sirens and decided to stop all cars and pull back the flaggers, in affect saving his crew and at least one person from a sure death. GOOD JOB. The next day I will photo the construction zone.

While I talk to the supervisor, I get a call from a man who gave LUCKY a ride back out to the area near my pond. The witness states shirtless and sweaty guy came up to him, (he was near the end of the pursuit) and said he would give him $20 for a ride back to near my pond. Witness said he know it was the suspect, but didn't feel comfortable telling him no (uh really?). Witness gave him a ride to an address.

I request cover and meet the witness who gives a vague address, which is next to the "tweakers briar patch". so I will not be going to get him. Witness describes LUCKY and even id's him.

I done. No real conclusion. It will go to the DA.

I have 6 tons of adrenaline in my spine waiting for the chase to end in an arrest, but no arrest, no taser, no cuffs, no scuffle.

I bug the firefighters, they don't want to mess with me. I can't calm down for hours.

I have the dog and car flagged, so that LE will be called if they are attempted to be picked up.

I call the owner of the car. She sold it to a guy 2 years ago "JOHN" who she describes to look a lot like LUCKY and she is constantly getting phone calls about the vehicle involved in reckless driving etc. I ask her to notify LE if JOHN contacts her.

It comes in threes

I had the misfortune of 3 stinky things.

1) the movie "Be kind Rewind" not funny, not interesting and I turned it off after 40 minutes. I could have watching the Simpson's movie for free on demand. Jack Black is still not as funny as he thinks he is.

2) "The Simpsons movie". It stank. 17 years of shows to reach that turd of a movie? not cutting edge funny, no cutting sarcasm, just predictably jokes and unfunny one sided political crap. WHY O WHY didn't it get cancelled 3 years ago? why would Matt Groening allow this? I watched it for free on demand and I still want my money back.

3) the so called music of Billy Bob Thorton. pay money to hear barely passable rock a billy? sure he like music and this isn't he regular gig, but come on, if you are going to charge money, your music should be worth hearing. now I know why Leahnne Ryhmes can charge money, she can sing and her band is good.

Survey Response

1. Do you like blue cheese?
frack, no it's smelly crap.

2. Have you ever smoked?
Yes.. until I had my wisdom teeth out about 9 years ago. I do enjoy a fine cigar from time to time

3. Do you own a gun?
yes, but not nearly as many as I like.

4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite?
Sugar and orange.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
only if it involve needles or surger.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
what's not to like? hand held meat logs, cooked on a grill!

7. Favorite Christmas song?
white christmas

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
coffee or coffee beer

9. Can you do push ups?
Yes, but not nearly as many as I'd like

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
wedding ring and my fancy watch, which I can't wear to work.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
Yes, but I haven't played Advanced Dungeon and Dragons for years (stole that joke), look something shiny.

13. What's one trait you dislike about yourself?
i'm not horribly successful.

14. Middle name?
ryan

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
1. my brudda is coming.
2. 2 more hours of work
3. i want to sleep.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
water, beer, coffee

17. Current worry?
no kids and small pond

18. Current hate right now?
no kids and small pond

19. Favorite place to be?
with family and friends

20. How did you bring in the new year?
i can't honestly remember, I think at home with the mrs.

21. Where would you like to go?
reno or major pub crawl

22. Name three people who will complete this?
no one, i think i am the last

23. Do you own slippers?
barefoot or flip flops

24 What shirt are you wearing?
1-underarmor type shirt
2-bp vest
3-uniform

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I don't think I would.

26.Can you whistle?
3 ways

27. Favorite color?
blue

28. Would you be a pirate?
Negative, not enough beer and ladies

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
SODOMY or Rock Lobster (Family Guy tribute)

30. Favorite Girl's Name?
no idea

31. Favorite boy's name?
Thor

32. What's in your pocket right now?
left pocket 2 quarters (luck)
right pocket 2 quarters (luck)
left thigh pocket knife
left thigh big pocket field notebook
right thigh pocket extra car keys and handcuff key
right thigh big pocket work keys, pen, another knife
backpocket wallet

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Venture brothers "WERECROC"

34. What do you drive?
subaru and crown victoria

35. Worst injury you've ever had?
besides the hernia surgeries x2?

36. Do you love where you live?
Frack no.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
3-big one, one in bedroom and one in garage (why the garage? MATLOCK, not really)

38. Who is your loudest friend?
I am, if there is no other,

39. Do you have any pets?
R and L and the Raj

40. Does someone have a crush on you?
the creepy lady from the billy idol concert- i threw up a little in my mouth

41. Your favorite book(s)? right now?
George R. R. Martin, the lazy poop,

42. Do you collect anything?
beer coasters, stickers, and tin tacker signs.

43. Favorite Sports Team?
USA Soccer, Minnesota Vikings, Manchester United EPL, Portland Trailblazer (if only the NBA was a really sport)

44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Asshole by denis leary.
Uncle F*&^ from SouthPark movie
It's not easy being green -kermit the frog

In work related news. It has been busy, more drunks and trips to detox. And today's topper dragging dead baby deer out of the road.