Decide for me

I was going to call this post Pot and Coasters, but then I had the best day at tazer training. So you get to pick. I had a great "Friday" started out farting around town. I waiting for drunks to come speeding down from the lake running plates. When we have a winner drives by suspended. I follow await for a reason to stop the car and presto, I am impounding your vehicle for being suspended. "is there anything I need to know about in the car? tell me before I find it and I can work with you." typical no response and the driver takes off, because I don't have a reason to detain him.

Inventory of the vehicle reveals pot pipe w/freshly burned pot. Unfortunately, I can't find the driver in town to give him the extra ticket. I search the local bar, where he said he was going to catch a ride from, but he ain't there.

Oh well, I'll just cross the street and get back into my car and move on. But no, 18 year driver and with lack of attention of me, in the crosswalk and 8 people waiting at the crosswalk on the other side, plus the vehicle stopped going the other directions- is evidently extremely hard for her to notice and she drives through the crosswalk with me in it.

So I do my first traffic stop on foot, pointing, using my talent of voice, "YOU! STOP! PULL OVER!", the driver pulls over. There is nothing like doing that in the downtown area full of people. Here is your ticket, be safe. Then off to dispose of the pot pipe smelling up the car and get back into car. Drive two blocks.

Why is that guy laying next car in the middle of the street? The car is stopped in traffic and the guy is sitting on the ground just outside of the vehicle. I am about to request medical, when his buddy picks him up and they start walking. The vehicle drives off and traffic prevents me from getting a plate. The man is walking down the street with an open beer can and his buddy. I stop them. They smell like beer and are drunk.

"I had enough of the bitch and got out of the car. She crossed the line. Yup, It was time to go"

He isn't injured, I debate what to do and give open container a ticket. I explain further contact will result in detox or jail....UNDERSTAND? "YES" Both guys are polite but had about 8 beers.
"Thanks for the ticket your an asshole" both shake my hand, the guy I cited wants a hug, UH NO! and go on there merry way.

I return to my happy little way and watch as town slowly goes to sleep. Only on bar open and it's deserted at check. So I do some foot patrol in the downtown area, looking inside and making sure everything is cool.

Cough Cough Cough. (what makes some one cough like that.....) It is so quiet and there is no one around, so I can sneak up on the cook staff behind the local restaurant. He can't hear me walk up, he continues to cough as a walk up.

"got a sore throat" lighter in right hand and an object he is hiding in his left, which he smoothly puts in back pocket and then pulls a pack a smokes.
"yeah"
hesitation. he fishes out the pot pipe with small amount of weed and hands it over the bag.

So I give the lecture and run him.

"Option 2 please, I can't get fired from here."

Then I go in and talk to the bar staff. The are waiting for the dishwasher to get down having a drink. We talk breweries and they show me the latest stickers from a brewery that came down for a sampling and give me coasters. I leave with pot and coasters. I never thought I would be logging pot for destruction. Wife laughs when I tell her and say the same thing. "ever think you would destroy so much pot." No, but I got more coasters.

Part 2, off work 2 am, training at 8 am. Time to ride the buffalo.

What is a buffalo ride? Well brudda knows (there will be a video available). I explain I have been waiting 6 months for the certification training for the Tazer, so I can carry it. Mine has been waiting in the safe until yesterday. Evidently the training only occurs 6 months, even with 8 agencies in the area. The training is 6-8 hours and the instructors say were going to go through some safety stuff and then will do the "exposures" for those who would like to volunteer and there are several ways to do it. Having had previous "exposures" to tazers, I decline the shot and go for the alligator clips.

The shot is two barbs from the gun into your back and the 5 seconds. The barbs hurts and leave nasty marks. (I allegedly had exposure once-no thanks)

The alligator clips attach to were ever you want, replacing the barbs. (done something similar before).

I watch the other guys take the shot, leaves two pencil eraser size wounds when the barbs are pulled out. Both guys complain all day how painful it is.

I take the alligator clips and fall over. Yup, it hurts, but 5 seconds and I am done ( i got two small burns from the clips but I usually hurt myself worse). Then a break to watch the video of all three of us getting it, which is will be viewed by the whole department for a laugh. So the rest of day goes by and without much excitement besides the shock. But it makes conversation with people neat. example
Dry Cleaner "how is it going?" (Dropping off uniforms)
Can't complain got tazered yesterday
"why in hell for?"
training got to know how it feels
"cripes, I don't think I would want that"

Week off

i got to take a week of this past week. it was going to be the week before but i forgot jury duty. jury duty went like this. show up Wednesday, fill out form, watch video (didn't work), leave, call for the next two days. yeah, they never needed me. Why? college education and a work history of at risk teens, mental health and law, who would want me on a jury?

"THAT ASSHOLE IS GUILTY!" would most likely be the words coming out of my mouth.
Jury duty is nothing like muni court. 40 people waiting to talk to the judge about a ticket. the judge is to new to know to run/divide the people.
1-guilty
2-no contest
3- not guilty
4- trial
so every one gets called one at a time and has a story. if you are there on one thing the judge drags you into a verbal match with the accused
"i was not speeding"
i had the vehicle on radar and paced it for 3 blocks
"well, i wasn't speeding, ask my 8 yr old"
(to myself) yeah because the 8 yr in the backseat isn't going to support dad and was at angle to see it.

or my new favorite. I run a car. The guy is suspended. There is no other vehicles in the lot for the store. I wait for a while, but he doesn't come out. I go in the store only 1 customer.
are you jim?
"yes"
did you driver here?
"yes"
is that your car?
"yes"
did you know you are suspended?
"what?"
come outside I'll show you.
"ok"
(showing records that state suspended) there you are.
"oh crap"
hey, since you have been cooperative, telling me you drove and what not, I won't tow your car. I'll cite you and you can have a licensed driver pick up the car.
"thanks, i will call and have my wife pick me up".

Fast forward 3 months. The guy now says his wife was driving the car, but was in the bathroom. He didn't want to get her in trouble (evidently she might have been suspended too). But he definitely wants to fight the ticket.

Great, can't wait. Do you know what false information is ??????


Anyhow back to the week off. Get 6 hours sleep, go to the inlaws. Which is a hoot. Because I am awake generally 2 pm to 6am, so it makes interaction odd.

But my father inlaw takes me turkey hunting. First time I have been hunting. It is a 5 am drive to the Dalles from Bend to his brother's 60+ acres. We hike all over the property and into some of the water shed a good 5 hours hike. It yields 0 turkeys, but 1 coyote, 1 rattlesnake, 1 newborn deer, and 15 deer. My FIL is bummed, he can't even get one to respond to his calls. Which is odd turkeys are vocal and dumb. But I did find the rattlesnake, which we dispatch and bury so it won't hurt the cows, kids, dogs or FIL's brother.

The good news is I find a local property owner who has a permit for out of season turkey "extermination" (ie they have permission from Wildlife to hunt male and female turkeys off their land ...roughly 500). Evidently the southern Oregon area is a playground for turkey, no really good predators. Also might be a cougar on the property, which will make it interesting. I am going to scope out the property this week get a little idea how big the place is. FIL is going Alaska for a week so if I can get an idea of how big the properties and if there are any birds around before hand the better.

Also brudda is right. Shut up when Sgt talks to you. "i understand", "yes", "i'll do it", "right away" are all the correct answers. Even when he has told you something contrary in the past. Even when he told you otherwise. Sgt is always right, even when he isn't. Besides the stuff that I am doing wrong is because I am working and learning. Not sitting on my arse or doing major screw ups like forgetting to give Miranda warnings. I am still hoping to have time off for camping and brudda's visit. Maybe he will eat buffalo steaks with me.

I can feel my eyeballs

there is nothing more entertaining than the feeling all the details of your eyeballs. not the normal wear and tear of normal use, but the 5 am, been at work for 12 hours and up for almost 20 hrs. you can feel the little veins in the back and the bottom. they throb and are attached to....my ears.

which ties in to the earpiece. which ties in to radio voice. when i was being trained i was exposed to a pretty regular assortment of standard radio voices, calm and even kealed. Most were male and all had same jargon and timber. I never noticed until there was a difference. Kind of how I miss breathing through my nose when I get a cold (but i digress). I had a trainer who in particular hated three of the four of the people to be mentioned on soon to be revealed list. It didn't bug me at the time, but now it drives me batty. just speak like everyone else. you aren't funny, it is not a contest to come up with funny phonetic alphabet name jumbles, you aren't a dj. Listening to the other 7 departments on the same band gives you alot of ammo.

I have a list of the offenders and why.
1-the scottish guy - frankly i thought he was a hoot when i started, i wanted him to say "crickey" or "dingo ate my baby", or "very clever ms. moneypenny", or a thousand other funny things but he never did it was alway "123 traffic". he just bugged my trainer, at least he was professional and courteous. he moved on to bigger ponds so no more.
2- the spanish guy - the fact that no one can understand you, might be a problem. part of radio traffic is that others don't have ask you to repeat yourself or wonder what the frack you said. he has gone away.
3-laughing at his own "jokes" or dj guy -it should sound like "David Victor Mary 238" not " Donny Valentine Moose 238" and it shouldn't be done with the odd rhythm, like your announcing the next big hit from Debi Gibson or believing your are the next Rick Dees. fortunately someone had the "GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER TALK" with him and no more gum flapping.
4- the new dispatch lady - she stinks. i didn't know what i was missing with the other dispatchers 'til you get the one who gets frazzled easily, has to you repeat everything (and everyone else) " he said he was on-duty you dumbass!", and doesn't anticipate well. there is no rhythm, no confidence, or helpful tone, just irritation and chaos. you curse and wish A was working.

Evidently I can not be a complainant in an ordinance violation, someone else has to complain. Really? So the guy peeing in the bush in front of me, I have to wait until I get a call?
So the guy with an open beer, I have to wait until I get a call?
So the two guys with rifles walking down the street, I have to wait until I get a call?
I think I am suppose to be a self starter so....
Yeah, I understand certain ones I need a complainant but certain one need common sense (which I was told I don't because I was not in the 35-45 yr old age group). Raindog says shut up and agree.



tomorrow..hopefully...beer, bbq, dogs, wife, hammock and cooler .