I hate lawnmowers

I hate lawnmowers. I go tthe craftsman when we got the lawn. I was excited to mow, bought it from Sears and trusted the craftsman name. POS 2000. Nothing but trouble the four years I had it. It sits garage now collecting dust. I final bought another one from Lowes; a Brigg and Stration (?), which everyone recommended. I had it for four month and went to start it and the FRACKIN thing wouldn't start. Read the FRACKIN manual and did all the recommend actions. No go.

Screw it tell the mrs. I am taking it back to Lowes. I got a mower zinxs like you wouldn't believe. I go back to Lowes and explain I hate it and I want it to die. Will you give me refund.

"Yes"
I love you. I buy a push mower, because Al "the messiah" Gore told me two. No that's a load. Although I am suprised he doesn't sell them. But I don't want to mess with engines or any of that shit.
So I use the mower. It's hard. It's not easy, but the MOTHER FRACKER starts everytime. I use the weed whacker to get the areas I miss, but I got to edge anyway.
It works better when you run, but I winded and there is no water bottle holder. Maybe i will build one.
PS. if you want a mower call.

The chase EPILOGUE

So I get a call to assist the county. There is a MVC in near the historic town, can I assist? Hell yes (it happened at shift change for county) and it's about 2 minutes away. A single car in the ditch, one occupant, fire and EMT on scene.
I get on scene car is in a 6 feet ditch with water all around it. Female is being attended to by one, while others are trying to find how to get to the other side of the ditch. I talk to the witness who said the lady was weaving the 2 miles before she weaved into the ditch. I the witnesses info and she leaves. I jump into the ditch and assist the getting EMT and firefighters and the victim across. There are 3 bottles of pills in the car. The victim is loaded into the car and stops breathing twice. The county unit arrives later and gets the info. The county unit tells me the found the guy from the pursuit up at house in the Tweaker's Briar patch and he is in jail. SWEEETT!!!!. I will get to dump some paper on him. I call the jail and he was shipped to the work center.

I call his Probation Officer to set up a time to talk. No one has a problem with it, because I don't have to get a warrant and the C. and the PO don't care. I drive out to meet my guy and read his right.

-so do you want to talk to me?
"yes"
-so tell me about the pursuit
"I don't know what you are talking about?
-so it wasn't you wouldn't stop for me, nearly hit 3 vehicles, 3 flaggers, blew through lights, crashed, left the puppy in the car, ran from me on foot, stole a kids bike and then paid a guy $ to get back to my pond?
"sorry wasn't me"
-well okay, here are your cites, 2 felonies and 7 misdemeanors.
"man I wished you believed me"
-well I saw you run right in front of me and I will testify in court about that and I have a witness who puts in area, so see you in court.
"i got to call my lawyer"

The next day I am talking to the mrs and hear the ATL for two males walk away from the work center. My suspect and idiot boy (cuz he has a huge tattoo on his face). So innocent you have to escape custody. love it.

Odd Day

It's my Monday literally and figuratively.

How do you start your Monday. The C and invites you to the skate park to bug teenage smokers. No big deal I love hassling the occupants of the skate park. It takes all of three minutes. We both notice the tour bus going up the windy one lane road that ends in a zero place to turn around for tour bus area, commonly called the cemetery. We both remark about how that bus should back up to avoid getting stuck or snagging a tree or worse.

A man approaches, wearing jeans, tshirt, oafish (i say oafish because it is a terrible attempt at a cowboy hat) cowboy hat and cowboy boots with the jeans hastily tucked into them.

The man introduces himself as the tour guide for a bus full of tourist.

"Can the bus make it up the road and turn around?"

-No, you are better off backing up-

"The whole bus in full of French Tourist and get a kick out of the Cowboy thing, that is why I am dressed like a cowboy."

-good thing they aren't into cheerleaders-
C laughs.
"Hey (speaking to C) you wouldn't mind coming on the bus and playing along while I tell them they can't drive up there because of a gunfight?"

C sounds like a pup job.

I accompany the man back to the bus which is backed with 40+ French Tourists. He explains and the translator does her job. They laugh and then.....they sing me a song. The whole busload, with clapping. They are very happy. I smile and say thank you and leave the bus.

I get in my car and drive up the hill. I radio the C
-A busload of French people just sang to me-
what did they sing?
-I don't speak enough french-
C laughs.

The day the a busload of french tourist sang to me.

Not to mention the lady who "swerved to miss the deer". The deer no one else saw. The witness who was following her and calling 911 to reporter her swerving driving didn't see it either. Not to mention the two pill bottles in the car. Not to mention the EMT mentions they put the thing in down her throat, without trouble. I ask what does that mean?
"either she is unconscious or she really relaxed"
they load her up and take her to the hospital. she stops breathing a couple times.

A day off

This what you do on a day off. Add friends, add floaties and add beer.
Zen