CHERRY BUSTIN'

Two post in one day!?!?! Am I daft?
No.

I busted my DUII cherry last night...ere this morning. Sure I have had several prior DUII, but never the whole catch and clean. So the details.

I had a car speed of through the downtown area, so match that bar patrons pointed out the vehicle as a came to the main drag. I witnessed the car nearly strike the curb and then continue down the street in the bike lane. BAM! I am up his ass and we do the song and dance. I get failure on all 3 test, take him to detox, blows .14% 1.5 hours after I take him into custody.

"I'm not a bad guy, you did what you had to do. I never would have driven if I had known. I never even had a parking tickets." I explain that is why he is here.

Now I have the most tows, but I am behind on DUII, G has 4, S has 2. So three more and I can compete. B has had 2 DUII last year, but those are crash DUII, where the person has wrecked and you show up and they are obvious DUII (don't count)

So my cherry is busted.

Toothpaste

So working the 12 hours shift, makes for a weird wake up time period. I get up about 2pm. I end up eating, laying around with the dogs and having some coffee.

Then it's on to the shit, shower and shave. So I am off to shower and strip down, but wait I have use the bathroom. I also decide to brush my teeth, multi tasking is as important as clean teeth.

I should also mention that we bought this toothpaste from Costco. I hate it. The taste is off, the tube suck, the cap never stays shut, it's messily and leaves little blue streaks on the coumter top.

So I am sitting on the toilet brushing my teeth and look down and I have toothpaste on my legs. I am wondering where the hell else I have toothpaste. Did I get it on my butt? Do I have to ask the Mrs?

So finish using the bathroom and I get up and start washing the extra toothpaste off the opening of the tube. Realizing I have washed my hands yet. So I through it away. Wash my hands with hot soapy water and then get a new tube out.

Then go explain to the mrs why we have a new tube of toothpaste.
she laughs and ask if I have toothpaste anywhere else.
"Don't care time for the shower."

Twofer

Sitting in my fishing hole, in my air conditioned cocoon, when zip zip. A car going 41 in a 25 with another car following right up the tail pipe.
I want the first car and pull out. The second car is freaked out and pulls aside. I catch up with the first car and we are stopped. When who comes sheepishly up behind me.

The finger pointing to pull in and stop, followed with the scowl and the voice "PULL OVER AND WAIT FOR ME!"

"Hello I'm HP and I stopped you for this reason" switch to second car and repeat.
Two cars, two tickets and two lecturs to the high school students.

Thief Call

reference old post with Juv#2 (which i now have to fix, because using certain marks confuses blogspot, because it thinks it's code, my bad).

Juv #2 has not come into speak with me. Since then Juv#2 has been seen driving his dad's car and again seen driving dad's car recklessly. Juv#2 has no license. I stop and talk to another of Juv#2 buddy, especially since there has been a burglary to a business.

-hey have you seen Juv#2?-
"yeah, he was driving his dad's car in town about the two days ago" (the time of the burg)
-he doesn't have a new computer does he? Do you know where he is staying?-
"I don't think so, but he offered me a ride. I think he is in CP or Atown"
-If you see a computer or see him tell him to give me a call-
"I don't hang out with him too much anymore, he is trouble."

I drive to Juv#2 dad's house to speak with dad.

-hey dad, seen Juv?-
"no, he is in GH."
-well, I know that he was reported driving your other car recklessly in GH-
"what? how do you know?
-here is a report of a vehicle driven by juv in GH, that is register to you. I know he doesn't have a license. If he gets stopped you will get a ticket.
"okay, I got to call him. You aren't here to arrest him."
-nope that is between your son and the Juv. Depart. I am here to talk about a burg that happened and to talk about the driving-
"what burg?"
-there was a burg a couple days ago, when Juv#2 was in town. I just don't want you to get a ticket for allowing him to drive you car w/o license.-
"my son got nothing to do with the burg"
-I don't know, but if he breaks into car, a burg ain't a stretch.-
"okay, i'll call him"


The next day Juv#2 call.
"what are you doing making me out to be a thief?"
-well you broke into cars-
"I was camping that day and I am harmless"
-sure you are how about the reckless driving? I know you don't have a license and you are driving your dad's car. I know you broke into the cars."
"I was camping and I ain't do anything"
-That's fine continue to lie-
"Why are you calling me a liar"
-Well if you were camping, you shouldn't have gone around bragging about breaking into cars, near the victim's wife. Your family should have gotten the story straight the night I went to your home. The witness that saw you at the scene. Your buddy who was there already said you were there. Plus I know you have been in town, roughly the time of a burg, so it isn't a stretch that you maybe involved-
"are you going to arrest me? what's going on with the breaking into car case?"
-that is between you and the Juv department. You need to contact them and figure it out, or there will be a warrant and I will arrest you.-
"i was camping'
-okay liar, well if you want to tell me the truth give me a call, otherwise don't waste my time-

His other friends already told me what happened, so it ain't much of a stretch that he is fracked. Plus I know where he is staying Atwon and will give a call to my buddy there to go screw with him.

Looby

We have two dogs and Ripley and Looby. Ripley we got about after we purchased our house, right after i had surgery, before we had fence or pretty much anything. the dog was a nervous and smart wreck, so we go a dog for her, Looby,

Looby is a black lab mix (turns out most likely pitbull or boxer), but we couldn't tell what. She was about 8 months old and the last dog we looked at. We even brought Ripley along to see if they would fight or what anything. Looby didn't care at all about Ripley, but they didn't fight so we got her. She was a little small 35 lbs, you could see all of her ribs and had several spots where the fur had been rubbed off from her (from collar pulling and most likely abuse). Didn't find out until we got her home she was afraid of men, strangers and anything like hoses/shovels/rakes etc. Little did we know she would double in weight and be a loving dog. She is Ripley's buddy, even though she isn't the smartiest fish in the ocean.

Ripley had surgery today. She has a bad knee and will be gone most of the day. Looby is lost without her. Looby, who would never miss a meal is just now eating. She wonders around the house and doesn't seem quite happy. Looby misses her buddy.

The flop

The early morning call on Thursday. It's the S. want to know if I will work his shifts.
Sure, I'll work 6am-6pm. (instead of 6pm-6am)
"I got poison oak real bad"
The week before we assisted another agency on a crash and were down an embankment in a big patch of it looking at a wreck. Something I didn't notice until I had gone through at least 3 bushes, to which the S. say, "this is poison oak. I am immune to it." Great so I'm going to get it and even make another trip down to the wreck to take pictures for the Deputy while he does interviews, heck I went down there once, i like to help and i pretty sure i already have poison oak, so whey expose other. (so that is the back story)

S. continues on the phone " you know why I got poison oak?"
-yeah, you said you never get it? you challenged it's manhood-

laughter is the only response. "thanks, what are you doing?"
-i was sleeping i like to keep the same schedule on my off days, but I have court today, so I was getting up anyways.-
"sorry about waking you up i thought i was doing you favor letting you know early."
-no problem-

I have court, which is only muni/local/traffic court. 50 or so people and 80% of those are tickets I wrote, but I am there for only 1 ticket. A man drove his car to market parked the car out front. I drove by ran the plate, went into the store, he was the only one in the store. I ask if he is the registered owner? is that his car?did he drive? did you know you are suspended? come outside we will talk. 7 months later he wants the trial and says that he wife was driving and she was in the bathroom. He saying 1) never said he was driving 2)he didn't want to get his wife in trouble, because she may have been suspended or had warrant. The judge is fair and lets him talk, but the guy is really trying to avoid his 3rd suspension. he loses i go home.

I will end up flipping the schedule with one days notice. I managed to get 2.5 hrs of sleep the night before, the body wants to be awake at 4 am ( an I have the song "it's a great day to kick somebodies ass" stuck in my head). I catch about 9 cases each shift, which is double the average for day shift (unless I initiate).

Yesterday was my friday and was capped by the smile that you need to keep you going the last few hours.
Our office lady is out for 4 more weeks, which means reports/citations/paperwork and anything else support related is really out of whack. I have to got the fire station to check phone message and write them down and return them if possible. certain officers don't do it.

Message #1- the concert last night was loud - (great whatever)

Message #2- the cougar is in our yard, again. (Call back Yes mam I have to wait until the chief approves the action. If you see it call the police we will attempt to shoot it. If it threatens your family shoot it and call us so the game dept can get the body.) thank you for returning my call

Message #3- where can I park all day. (you can park in the c and d lots all day)

Message #4-someone vandalised my property after the concert (left voicemail, please call)

Message #5 (the smile)= "This is Michael Chots (can't really understand it) you may remember me, I uh...used the name Tim Mcgraw, I was a country singer. I was at the concert last night and met a lady friend. We friendly and had a good time. I went to her house and left my truck there. I was in a place were she could drive me to the airport. I want to come get it but she won't let me. I am ready to pursue charges. How do I do it and....Call me back at 123-4567. And she violated me."

So evidently Tim McGraw was at a hip-hop concert last night met a lady, went to her house, she drove him to the airport and has stolen his car. Oh yeah P.S. she violated him.
I call the number, Kim answers the phone.
-Is Michael Chots, no sure of last name, aka Tim McGraw there? This is Officer.
"Michael is here at the Sullivan Care facility, what did he do?"
-can you describe the type of facility it is? is it like the brain injury unit at Front Street?-
"Well that is our sister facility, but yes."
-Okay that explains the phone message. Michael, aka Tim Mcgraw called and stated...-
"wait let me get a pen and my supervisor, I got to write this all down for the report"

The supervisor gets on the line. I tell her about the message.
"Well Michael has Mental Health Issue. He was here all night and doesn't own a truck." she is trying not laugh as she asks about the message.
-can you make sure he doesn't call unless there is an emergency or a crime-
"yeah but he does this from time to time"
-I know i used to work at one of the facilities, so I won't make a big deal of this, good day-

So next officer comes in and I start telling him about the phone messages. So Tim Mcgraw was in town last night someone stole his truck and violated him
"what?"
Tim Mcgraw aka Michael Chots called to report the stolen truck and violation of his person
"oh yeah, I know him. he's nut" He starts laughing

I couldn't stop smiling because it's funny and I couldn't get "PS. I was violated" out of my head.

The Nice Way?

i briefly would like to touch on the nice way.
why? the example and judge for yourself.

Example:



"oh yeah!" with posturing, body language and attitude

now I am usually polite to everyone, but I jump up several gears. lower my voice, change facial expression and state

there is no end of the sentence and usually it turns the tide

"or what?" complete with sneer and the eye. he is close to sizing me up for his next move

eye contact (plus that is the family friendly version, because RULE #1= I win. I go Home. I stomp your blankity blankity in.

"so what did you need?" verbal compliance and body posturing ends

still making eye contact to let him know the mouth may talking the talk, but the whole body needs to be on board.

it end shortly. i have almost forgotten the others around. they still remember the nice way.

What lying gets you

A boot, a cite, a daily check to make sure you are there.
Why do you ask?
Example: 2 juvs breaking into cars

-Juv#1 comes forward states him and buddy (Juv#2) were out walking and Juv #2 broke into car. #1 spills his guts and talks to me

-Juv#2 -hides and continues to hide with from me. #2's dad says "I'm getting a lawyer for the kid. You don't have proof. You got it out for my kid. Juv #1 is lying. My kid was not there." Did I mention dad has been intox the 4 times I spoke with him.

Great, do what you got to do. I am recommending you kid gets charged with 2 counts of theft2 and break into cars.
"That not fair" says Juv#2's dad

"what would you do?"
( i like to say i would be an asshole, but he might complain)

He stumbles off and a hear a "Frack" (not really the word but i don't need to say the F word anymore).

10 minutes later drive by Juv#2's buddy.

"no"

"i don't know"

"yup"

"yup"

This incident happened with buddy of Juv#2 about 2 months ago

He is young looks, 16 and is smoking. I stop and ask and he say 19. I run him and he UTL, which is odd because he told me he just got off juvenile probation with Probation Officer Puddles. he gives me variants of the his last name, all UTL. i ask to check against PO Puddles' caseload. they have a kid different DOB and last name. I call PO Puddles and explain who I have and what he has done and Puddles says he will lodge the young man for the offense. JOY-False Info to LE.
A couple weeks in Juvenile will help jog your memory. Lying gets you jail time

PS.
UTL-unable to locate
GOA-gone on arrival
NR- no report
PO-probation officer

Know better

the two things i learned this week.

#1) i observe a intox male leave a bar and head down the road. he stops near building stops, looks my direction and then starts to pee. it's late at night, but come on. i drive up, introduce myself, wait for the finishing shake and explain the ordinance. oh yeah, he is the type of person who should know what the ordinance is. i inform him of the fine and send him on his way. (notice the vagueness of which i use). ps no I won't shake your hand.

#2) i get to work today and start down the road, when i hear request for more units. another agencies' officer is arresting someone and 2nd party evidently is jumping on his back. i take offense and jump the call, even as it is being assigned to other officers. i get there first. officer is good sitting in car, client in the back, great relax. 6 people are standing around and tell me the officer pushed a woman "for no good reason" (or as i have been known to say "what i really mean is 1-i didn't see everything 2-i'm lying or 3-i'm a douche")


shazam she appears. low and behold she smells of alcohol. she thought she was entitled for a summary and play by play when the officer was arresting someone for a felony, who is resisting. she thinks she doesn't have to follow the officer's commands to move away. what happens? forearm shiver (ie. standing next to someone who puts there forearm into your chest and pushes) into a tressel. Then everyone comes over to see what happened and gets bent out of shape.
guess who gets to write paper?

I have lived a full life

I've done it. I do not know how to top it. I have reached the pinnacle of my career, barely a year into my current job. Everything that I hoped LE would be has come to completion.

Yesterday while following a car to see if the were just a bad driver or possibly more, slams on the brakes. I think great here we go, but no.

Little did I know that my moment had come.

I key the mike....(pause for drama) and tell Dispatch.

"I'll be out with 2 ponies". never were truer words spoken. nothing more ominous. how many times do you get to say that? how would it end? what had happened? what it be another tragic pony vs. officer confrontation we always hear about on Dateline? I don't want to be accused of profiling

"I am attempting to herd the ponies." what does one do with loose ponies?
first, get them off the road.
second, figure out where they go
third, get rid off ponies.
fourth, how many times can I say ponies over the air.

"Can you find a phone number for 123 Fake Street?" Dispatch provides the number

"I am away from my phone to you contact them, find out if they have ponies? (pause) If they do can you tell them there ponies are loose?"

lady arrives from long driveway. <>
"the driveway gate is wide open"


i resist the urge to ask for a pony ride.
"nothing, just don't like to see animals get hurt".

tell the wife in the morning - smiles .